Finding Strength in Doing Tough Things
“You must go into the cold or the cold will come to you.” -Wim Hof
Building on my previous articles about embracing discomfort, defining purpose and values, I realized the importance of embracing tough things to help build confidence, promote a growth mindset, and create lasting memories. While I am familiar with physical and mental challenges, I have spent the past 6-7 years chasing comfort. There is a distinction between moving towards discomfort (facing fears and uncertainty), as I discussed in my First Article, and doing tough things (intentional physical or mental challenges). The former fosters growth, but both require preparation. This isn’t just about ticking off items on a bucket list; it’s about cultivating the resilience to navigate life’s inevitable challenges with grace and grit.
My journey to embracing tough things started with a hilariously ill-prepared adventure to Havasu Falls in the Grand Canyon. Fresh out of high school, our strength and conditioning coach, Rob Biasotti, decided to pilot a travel adventure company, and my friends and I were his guinea pigs. The hike involved a two-mile descent into the canyon and a ten-mile trek across the desert before reaching the falls. Some people fly in; most put their bags on donkeys. We, in our infinite wisdom and cost-cutting zeal, decided to carry our packs.
Picture three 18-year-old boys and a 40-year-old man with the combined outdoor experience of a toddler, walking into Walmart to stock up for our Grand Canyon adventure. We emerged with the essentials: enough outfits to hit the Vegas strip for one night, more clothes than we could possibly need for camping (most of which were useless for hiking), an alarming amount of tortilla shells, and peanut butter. Oh, and one three-liter water source between the four of us. In June. In the desert.
Our bags weighed a solid 60-65 pounds, filled to the brim with nonsense and completely devoid of water. By the time we reached the falls, we had broken basketball shoes (yes, basketball shoes), broken bags, major cramping, shattered egos, and were likely all suffering from mild heat exhaustion. Delusion, clearly, was a pre-existing condition. Luckily, some kind Samaritans near our campsite helped us set up our tents. After licking our wounds from the trek, we were able to take in the beauty of our surroundings. It was nice to disconnect from technology and get an unobstructed view of the night sky. Despite the suffering, those few days were some of the most exciting and adventurous of my life. To this day, we still laugh about the stupidity and reminisce in awe of the beauty. Doing tough things creates an imprint in your memory and forms bonds that are unwavering. Check out this video highlight of the trip.
That Havasu Falls trip taught me the importance of preparation, a lesson that would be crucial when I later faced the even greater challenges of Ranger School. I had the privilege of attending Ranger School shortly after graduating from West Point. It was pretty much an unwritten prerequisite to lead soldiers as an infantry officer in the US Army. It is considered one of the most challenging leadership courses in the world. Ranger School is known for its high level of physical and mental stress, in which students endure sleep deprivation, limited food rations, and constant evaluation. Preparing for it requires rigorous physical training, but what is also vitally important—and often overlooked—are the spiritual and mental dimensions of health.
Faith, whether rooted in religious belief or a profound sense of purpose, can offer some grounding amid stressful moments. I found inspiration in Dwight D. Eisenhower, who famously wrote two letters the day before the D-Day invasion: one crediting victory to his soldiers and another accepting full responsibility for the operation’s failure. He handed both to his wife and told her the outcome is in God’s hands. Could you imagine the pressure he was under in that moment, with the fate of the free world riding on the outcome of this operation? Eisenhower understood that to cope with the stress of such an event, he had to relinquish control and trust in a higher power, a fundamental principle of most faith practices and even ancient philosophies, such as Stoicism.
Regular meditation also became an essential tool, sharpening my focus and cultivating a sense of positivity and calmness. I stumbled upon a free meditation center near my mom’s house while training for Ranger School. I had never participated in mediation, although I had heard of it. My impression at the time was that it was something monks do in baggy pants on some mountain top and not something super practical for day-to-day life. I had a two-month break between graduation and reporting for training. It was a fun 60 days. I spent time with family and friends back home and tried to catch up on missed days of college partying since that wasn’t a big part of the West Point experience. When I was in my early twenties, I found it easier to stay focused on military training when fully immersed in it. However, being back home for so long made the training to come feel more daunting and like a looming cloud. I was interested in gaining any possible edge to prepare for what lay ahead, so I decided to give it a shot. I found that it helped immensely in slowing down a racing mind, gaining awareness of sensations in the body, and sharpening focus. Dedicating time to prayer and mindfulness practices helped me fortify my mental toughness and accept whatever outcome might be. It wasn't just about physical readiness; it was about cultivating mental and spiritual resilience to lead with clarity and conviction, regardless of the situation.
After leaving the military, I began to pursue things that everyone else cared about, namely, financial success. I found that I pulled away from faith and moved towards comfort. Comfort and money started to move me towards pleasure to avoid pain, but I found more pain at the end of the trail of pleasure. In each of the stories above, a significant amount of pain was involved in the experience, but the satisfaction at the end was well worth it.
My journey back to doing tough things after leaving corporate America led me to climb Mount Kilimanjaro with my friends Christian Angarita and Patrick O’Sullivan. It was more than just a physical feat; it became a profound journey inward, an event where stillness in nature helped regain purpose. The climb required not only physical endurance but also a deep connection to my breath. The phrase you will hear repeatedly from the mountain guides as you climb is “Pole Pole,” which is Swahili for “slowly slowly.” It is crucial to take your time on the 7-day climb, even on the first couple of days at lower elevations. Each step at 19,000 feet can feel like a gasp for air. Check out this video from the summit morning, and how slowly we were going. In my head, it felt like we were moving fast. You start summit day at around midnight and reach the top at sunrise. The view from the top was incredible, and the experience from beginning to end was one I will never forget.
Techniques learned from James Nestor’s “Breath” and research on oxidative capacity revealed how intentional breathing could enhance performance at high altitudes. Beyond the increased oxygen uptake, breathwork has become a valuable tool for relaxation and finding clarity. Most of us breathe shallowly, especially when stressed. This is a problem because the lungs filter 80% of our toxins, and shallow breaths don’t fully clear them. We also fail to release stress hormones, such as cortisol and adrenaline. Unlike animals that physically release tension after a fight-or-flight response through shaking, we compartmentalize and return to our daily tasks. Remember being told to punch a pillow or take a deep breath as a child when on the verge of a meltdown? We lose that instinct as adults. Restoring deep breathing and somatic practices helps the body return to a state of calmness, clears toxins, and releases stuck hormones that negatively impact health.
In each situation I wrote about, I have memories etched into my mind, funny stories, and friendships that will last a lifetime, forged through each of those experiences. Doing tough things helps build a growth mindset that opens you up to tackling even bigger and bolder challenges through increasing confidence with each conquered challenge. If going on an adventure to Havasu Falls or climbing Mount Kilimanjaro seems out of reach, I recommend starting small. Incorporating a few of the modalities I mentioned into a morning routine could be a great starting point. Cold plunging, meditation, yoga, and breathwork can be a challenge in themselves. I usually break a sweat in my breathwork sessions, and it lays the foundation for taking on the cold plunge, which can feel like a punch in the gut. Wim Hof, one of the most well-known influencers in the cold plunge space, begins with instructions on how to breathe before entering and during the cold plunge, helping the body better regulate the nervous system and calm the mind. All four modalities have a profoundly positive impact on the body’s physiology, the mind’s calmness, and the nervous system’s relaxation. Whichever activity speaks to you, give it a shot; it might help pave the way to accomplishing a much more challenging feat down the road. At the very least, it will help create some stillness in your day, provide a boost of energy, or prevent an angry outburst at a colleague or family member.
I will expand upon some of the topics I have discussed in these articles in my podcast. In my first podcast, my guest, Jordan Lynch, will discuss the importance of incorporating doing tough things in health routines, among some other interesting topics. He discusses how doing tough things helps build resiliency and sets an example for his children to aspire to. In December, I obtained my breathwork instructor certification, and I am currently pursuing my yoga and Wim Hof instructor certifications. These modalities will serve as the foundation for my health and wellness brand’s events and future retreats. I hope to provide practical tools to help promote a healthier lifestyle for my listeners. I will also continue to explore doing tough things such as multi-day treks, fitness challenges, and climbs over the next year of my travels. Stay tuned for more posts and videos on what I’ve done so far and what’s to come. If you’re interested in following along, subscribe to my newsletter, The Vibe, and follow me on Instagram @Tenable Vibrations.
What tough thing are you going to commit to doing this year?